I kid you not, that was actually said to me on a date last night.
Ok so I'm gonna blog about this date (thanks Corinne!)
A) because I rarely go on dates
B) because I wanna share my experience
C) to perhaps help some of the guys (ok I know they're not reading this but its a nice thought to round this out) with some tips of how to be. because whether you like it or not, ITS THE SMALL STUFF THAT MAKES A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE (yes all that needed to be in caps. bear with me here)
So, I went swing dancing tuesday night with some close friends of mine (to my experience swing dancing refer back a few posts to stompy jones) I actually made it to the lesson on time which added to the experience a bit, made me feel a tad more prepared. And God bless those guys who actually show up for a lesson. Serious kudos to you.
People watching is soo much fun! ok ok moving on
So as always some random guys had asked me to dance and we had fun (men, please note that saying to a partner you danced with is a beginner is kinda mean. I know I'm a beginner and I know you're not. So thanks captain obvious; are you trying to deter me? move along)
I must say the highlight was dancing with a lesbian for it was so far unusual to me but highly fun and unique and very non-sexual (and her hands felt like mine. that sensation can only be described as ubiquitous.)
so this guy asks me to dance and he's obviously been dancing for quite a while but he asks if I've done other forms of dancing. I say yes, I used to be a ballet dancer. He says ahhh I can tell! You turn with your arms in high fifth and your arms are so balletic (upon watching myself in a video attempting to rave dance, I have concluded I have very balletic arms. which is rather personally amusing for I was always told my port de bras was one of my weaker points)
so we dance a few songs. Honestly he was a bit odd, gave off a gay vibe (hello will truman from will & grace) and he was deeply obssesed with the music but then he paid attention to me. rather disconcerting.
We chat a bit. Now men, asking questions is to be expected but pleease once you hit on some tragic subject (like the reason I don't dance anymore) please stop harping on it. I really don't feel like discussing my deep personal trauma with you. I just met you. I like your concern but once again move along.
We exchange numbers (his phone background wallpaper was a picture of himself lmao) he says lets hang out sometime, I'll call you. I oblige
He calls me the next morning! So we schedule a date for that evening.
I was running late from work so I shoot him a text (oh a quick note, the guy hated texting. not bueno for me a textaholic. but I as I told him later, he had a loud voice and enunciated well so I didn't mind talking to him on the phone. but he did sweetly deal with my texting)
I shoot him a text saying I'll be there late. He says good.
I show up. I'm exhausted and don't really feel like putting on my dating charms. But I'm a trooper.
He's not there. So I wait about 5 mins. No call no text. So I order my food to go. Thennn he calls me! (15mins later...) says he's running late and he'll be there in 15. So I get my food and wait for the guy. He shows up and gets a beer and fries and explains how his dogs got diarrhea and he had to clean that up. He vents about that a bit. Not a problem. He many times offered his fries, I decline. He asks more probing questions (minus points there) and I attempt to find out more about him (I did get soome info but man that guy knew waay more about me) we go for a walk a bit and as every first date of mine (except for one) we get on the topic of religion (since my beliefs are the very core of who I am, its my identity)
OH by the way; if you suggest we go for a walk please wait for the gal to pick up her purse instead of walking out the door and waiting, its rude (which he did)
The amish comment came up because I had said I haven't had sex since I don't believe in sex before marriage. So we had an interesting discussion of things relating to that. He's a bit of an odd bird though, in the middle of us talking he'd start humming and completely forget what we were talking about or say that restaurant is really good. Uh ok....?
Then he walks me back to my car and we tie up the discussion, we hug and say bye.
I text him today and say I had fun. He responds saying I'm glad you did, I did too but I don't think we're a match. I say I agree but unless you believe guys and girls can't be friends there's no reason we can't ever talk again (I like having friends with different viewpoints once in awhile, it shakes thing up)
He says sorry
The End
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
After all what's in a name?
Names, they mean everything to us right? It's how we identify and connect things to one another.
Ok so, I went to a dance showing called thieves the other night at my old home SFCD (SF conservatory of dance)
Now I don't know who exactly choreographed it and what not, all I know it was basically some some woman who talks with her teeth always shut together (like a smile)
So the piece itself was ehhh. Some original moments that were never expounded upon and the boring to death parts repeated over and over. Wonderful dancers though that's for sure.
I'm not even quite sure how to explain the piece except for that there were a lot of animalistic influeneces and feelings that reeked of war-time emotions (I don't know how else to put it...)
The unique thing about these dancers was that they both shared masculine and feminine energies. The guy looked quite fem but there were moments where he was actually quite masculine, in the animalistic instict moments. And the gal looked rather butch but had some soft feminine qualities as well.
The thing that bugged me was during the discussion as afterwards my friend pointed out to me (since I honestly couldn't understand hardly anybody) was that a guy in the audience had asked why she named it thieves. There was nothing at all in the piece that connected with that word. And she got rather defensive about it and basically ended up saying its not the name that matters its the piece and how different people have different connections to words especially from different parts of the world (this company is based in amsterdam)
But that really bothered me. It showed her lack of experience and maturity. For the piece itself was rather inexperienced though it had some beautiful moments, it definitely had that feeling of this was the first piece she's ever choreographed.
But it bothered me so much that she got defensive and a bit angry because first of all lady, that's an honest question. For you present this title of your piece and then the word has nothing to do with nothing. It would have been better to call it unamed or in progress for then that leaves more of a blank slate for people as oppose to leading us to believe some thieving is going to take place. I feel like that you should take time to accurately name a piece. We take time to name our kids for what they're named gives a presentation, a preconception to the world. Even Alex Ketley (one of my favorite choreographers of all time) as random or obscure his title of the pieces may be, they connected, they made sense. So her lack of insight or whatever turned me off even more to the piece.
Now on to more pleasant things.
My friend Joy Prendergast recently debuted a work in progress of her choreography so naturally I went to go see it.
It was quite beautiful. I knew it would be. Joy has the most gorgeous of movements and she can take the simplest stuff and make it absolutely golden, it flows together like water. The underlying tension of everything was fantastic, it left you wondering why. To me it felt like a bit of a take off (not rip off but I mean like going down another path of the same broad idea) of Project Bust which she is a dancer in for it related to 2 females and underlying tension in dealings with each other. I look foward to seeing its progression and seeing the intentions coming through more clearly.
As I went to the show I had to laugh and say to myself, this is why I don't go to just any random showing of dance. Because you NEVER know what you will get.
Joy's piece was one of many different pieces that were showcased at the Garage in SF. The garage is quite a venue. Tons of people have started out there but I have seen the most random obscure mishmash of stuff there. Some highly interesting albeit disturbing and some simply good/entertaining but not rich in meaning and some pure absolute crap. The garage I feel is a bit of what I call an honest venue. You can be your absolute self and everybody will see/hear/know it. My polite way of showing that I hated the piece more than anything is by not clapping. I will refuse to clap. For that was crap. It's not worthy of my applause and you should've saved yourself the effort.
Here's my conundrum - I understand the work the effort the time and everything else that goes into making a dance. But some are just pure horrifying and disgusting to me. And I feel bad because I know they poured every fiber of their being into it and I know it provides such a sweet relief in a way but man, spare me.
It reminds me of an article I read on the Bold Italic (google that suckas, you'll LOVE it!) where the guy is basically saying the same thing I'm saying here but about the music scene. He says you know what? enough of the polite applause after every band's set regardless if they sucked or not. Bring back the booing, let them know they suck!
Which I agree with. Does that make me a hardass? A Cynic? I don't know. But I like to think of it as reality. We need to know when we suck at stuff. Ok maybe we like doing whatever it is we suck at, but then enjoy it in the privacy of your own home. save the effort and the humiliation and just stay home with it.
Ok so, I went to a dance showing called thieves the other night at my old home SFCD (SF conservatory of dance)
Now I don't know who exactly choreographed it and what not, all I know it was basically some some woman who talks with her teeth always shut together (like a smile)
So the piece itself was ehhh. Some original moments that were never expounded upon and the boring to death parts repeated over and over. Wonderful dancers though that's for sure.
I'm not even quite sure how to explain the piece except for that there were a lot of animalistic influeneces and feelings that reeked of war-time emotions (I don't know how else to put it...)
The unique thing about these dancers was that they both shared masculine and feminine energies. The guy looked quite fem but there were moments where he was actually quite masculine, in the animalistic instict moments. And the gal looked rather butch but had some soft feminine qualities as well.
The thing that bugged me was during the discussion as afterwards my friend pointed out to me (since I honestly couldn't understand hardly anybody) was that a guy in the audience had asked why she named it thieves. There was nothing at all in the piece that connected with that word. And she got rather defensive about it and basically ended up saying its not the name that matters its the piece and how different people have different connections to words especially from different parts of the world (this company is based in amsterdam)
But that really bothered me. It showed her lack of experience and maturity. For the piece itself was rather inexperienced though it had some beautiful moments, it definitely had that feeling of this was the first piece she's ever choreographed.
But it bothered me so much that she got defensive and a bit angry because first of all lady, that's an honest question. For you present this title of your piece and then the word has nothing to do with nothing. It would have been better to call it unamed or in progress for then that leaves more of a blank slate for people as oppose to leading us to believe some thieving is going to take place. I feel like that you should take time to accurately name a piece. We take time to name our kids for what they're named gives a presentation, a preconception to the world. Even Alex Ketley (one of my favorite choreographers of all time) as random or obscure his title of the pieces may be, they connected, they made sense. So her lack of insight or whatever turned me off even more to the piece.
Now on to more pleasant things.
My friend Joy Prendergast recently debuted a work in progress of her choreography so naturally I went to go see it.
It was quite beautiful. I knew it would be. Joy has the most gorgeous of movements and she can take the simplest stuff and make it absolutely golden, it flows together like water. The underlying tension of everything was fantastic, it left you wondering why. To me it felt like a bit of a take off (not rip off but I mean like going down another path of the same broad idea) of Project Bust which she is a dancer in for it related to 2 females and underlying tension in dealings with each other. I look foward to seeing its progression and seeing the intentions coming through more clearly.
As I went to the show I had to laugh and say to myself, this is why I don't go to just any random showing of dance. Because you NEVER know what you will get.
Joy's piece was one of many different pieces that were showcased at the Garage in SF. The garage is quite a venue. Tons of people have started out there but I have seen the most random obscure mishmash of stuff there. Some highly interesting albeit disturbing and some simply good/entertaining but not rich in meaning and some pure absolute crap. The garage I feel is a bit of what I call an honest venue. You can be your absolute self and everybody will see/hear/know it. My polite way of showing that I hated the piece more than anything is by not clapping. I will refuse to clap. For that was crap. It's not worthy of my applause and you should've saved yourself the effort.
Here's my conundrum - I understand the work the effort the time and everything else that goes into making a dance. But some are just pure horrifying and disgusting to me. And I feel bad because I know they poured every fiber of their being into it and I know it provides such a sweet relief in a way but man, spare me.
It reminds me of an article I read on the Bold Italic (google that suckas, you'll LOVE it!) where the guy is basically saying the same thing I'm saying here but about the music scene. He says you know what? enough of the polite applause after every band's set regardless if they sucked or not. Bring back the booing, let them know they suck!
Which I agree with. Does that make me a hardass? A Cynic? I don't know. But I like to think of it as reality. We need to know when we suck at stuff. Ok maybe we like doing whatever it is we suck at, but then enjoy it in the privacy of your own home. save the effort and the humiliation and just stay home with it.
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