All this pain

This post is gonna be a bit of a departure from what I normally write about, however I felt the urge to write a little something.
I've been watching the movie Amores Perros (which translates as Love's a bitch) and something struck me. This movie and others by the director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu have a common theme: pain. But not just pain itself but that kind of pain that cuts through everything in life, that makes life certifiably insanely hard. The stuff you rather would not talk about, let alone think about.
I admit, one of his movies, the most recent one called Biutiful was so painful to watch I couldn't even finish it, for it was the kind of pain so realistic and cutting that I could bear it no more.
I enjoy from an artistic perspective because I respect the fact that he bravely creates films of this matter, and it is indeed realistic and very haunting. That pain you don't forget. That becomes a part of you and leaves such a mark that you are forever different afterwards.
In the midst of Amores Perros I was being drawn down the rabbit hole of my own mind, remembering the pain I went through, that changed my life dramatically. I started softly crying, remembering the despair I felt and knowing life would never ever be the same. I felt scared again, back in that old place. Then a few moments later I remembered - God. God has brought me forward. He has healed me. He is still healing me. He is and was my comfort. The song Beautiful Things by Gungor has been replaying in my head so much these past few months. It reflects to the T what God has done and is doing in my life and I cannot be more grateful and astounded.
Did I conquer my fear with heroic courage? Not in the least. It took tiny wavering wobbly steps. It took feeling trapped but knowing God just had to get me out for there was nothing else. It took relying on other peoples prayers and encouragement. It took feeble prayers of my own. It was a dark place. I didn't know what was ahead. I didn't know how to move ahead. But I have. And I am so beyond words thankful.